Thursday, July 21, 2011

27 next month

Where did the time go? I still feel like a kid. My body doesn't feel so young though. I can't imagine what I'll be thinking when I'm really old (if i make it)

I told my lawyer the other day that I would be turning 26 and he looked at me real funny. When I left the office, I realized that I'd be turning 27. I don't even remember turning 26 or 25 even. I wish my life would slow down for a while so I could enjoy it. The months are going by extremely quick. I'm on strong pain medication and i mark the time I take my dose on the calendar , because everyday feels the same and sometimes I get confused about it. "did i take my medicine today? Yes, no wait that was yesterday? or was it today?" I've done that way too many times. Writing it on the calender helps me know when I need to take my medication. So does feeling all the pain, but with the medication I'm on, you're supposed to keep it steady in your system and every 4 hours. They say it works better for the pain if you take it at the same time every day. Those pill containers are no good for me, because the amount of pills I have to take daily, wont all fit in those containers. The point of talking about this is that, because I'm constantly writing on the calender every day and checking the days off with a marker, before I know it the month has gone by, then the year etc. Maybe I need to come up with a new idea for keeping track of my meds... hmm.

Another thing that has been bothering me is that I've become so incredibly sick of everybody lately. I don't watch tv. I have cable and don't even know why I pay for it. I watch the news sometimes, but not usually at all. I watch things on the computer and that way I can choose what I want to watch and not what is being forced on to people. I remember when I first heard about Lady Gaga. I never knew what a lady gaga was even. I had to go look it up on the internet and instantly was upset with myself for looking it up. After that I saw and heard about this Lady Gaga EVERYWHERE. Same thing happened with Justin Beiber and recently I've heard about "Rebecca Black". I thought that was a joke when I watched it. I still don't think it's fair , because I choose not to watch tv, so why should I have to constantly hear about what you think of all the shit that they show on tv? Do you really need your status update to be about how much you hate or like any of these d-bags that I'm talking about? I deleted my facebook account for over 5 months because I was so sick of hearing nonsense from people. I decided to re-activate it not too long ago and it feels like I never even left!

Everyone is still talking about the same things, plus more nonsense that I haven't ever heard of. I stopped being curious and stopped looking things up, because I know now that it's most likely something that I'll hate. I know that not everyone is going to like the same music as me, but I don't constantly shove my shit on you and in your face. The things I like, aren't on tv all the time either. WHat's on tv is what they want you to like. You're a bunch of sheep. BAHHHHH!

Smashed Assholes.

Why does everyone gotta be so goddam ridiculous when they drink? Getting angry and breaking up with their boyfriends/girlfriends over a stupid argument and changing their facebook relationship status. Why can't they tell themselves that tomorrow everything will be okay, you'll make up and then feel stupid that you changed your facebook relationship status. Everyone has seen your nonsense, because you just couldn't control yourself and stay away from that goddam computer. If you know you're a fucking retard every time you drink, then why don't you get someone to hide your goddam computer mouse so you're unable to use your computer when you're drunk and fighting over nonsense with your partner.

I hate phones.. I hate them even more when you call me telling me your life is ruined, you'll never date again and you're going to kill yourself. Then, early the VERY NEXT DAY! you call and wake me up to tell me that everything is okay, and you've decided to work things out with your lover. Fuck you. Fuck your drunken nonsense and fuck your telephone. Don't call me again unless you're calling me to tell me you've quit drinking!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


So I finally figured out how to post a picture. It's a great spot to keep pictures, but I wonder if there's a way to make certain blogs "private" so I can just store pictures and certain people can't view them! That would be wonderful.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Somewhere over the fucking rainbow

Actually it was just in my house... but a nest of spiders has hatched somewhere and I'm very upset about this. For days I've been killing spiders.

Before I go on about the whole spider thing, I'd just like to say that if you have a problem with me killing spiders DON'T BOTHER TELLING ME ABOUT IT. IF it bothers you THAT much, then please feel free to come to my goddam home and remove them for me.

OKay, anyway.. where was I... alright. So , I've been trying to draw and all of a sudden a goddam spider will drop down onto my picture and I squish it and it leaves it's guts behind. My picture is now ruined. I am not impressed, but I start another anyway, only this time I'm paranoid and can't stop looking around, up and down for spiders. I relax after getting shivers and chills and continue with my picture.....and plop...another goddam spider! I realized there was a bunch all over the ceiling fan. I turned the fan on and watched the spiders fly around on their webs and falling off. This was funny until I realized that I didn't see where the landed. The first night I kept count and killed 14 spiders. After that I just got frustrated and gave up counting and was ready to give my notice and move out.

For days I've been wearing bandannas, because I'm worried that the spiders will drop down on my head and into my dreads and maybe make a nest in there next. Oooh how disgusting! Terrible! TERRIBLE NONSENSE! I was thinking maybe I could become a famous artist and only create artwork using spiderguts to paint with.

I'm itchy all the time and paranoid thinking they're on me and in my dreads. I'm constantly bothering Dale to check my dreads for them to make sure they're not in there. My cat is being useless and wont act and get them. She killed a centipede once.. I was happy about that. Seriously though WTF? Why wont they go outside?! I think they like my air conditioner. They shoot their yucky little webs all over too.

I've been spraying all around my door and windows with bug spray so no more of them come in. I can't spray inside, because of my cat. Every morning when I go outside, there's webs all in front of my goddam door. I yelled for Dale to come and knock the spiders/webs down so I could have my cigarette. He couldn't see what I was pointing at , so he went and put on his sun glasses. He then used the broom, but held on to the brush end for some odd reason and started to knock them down. I started laughing like a loon, because he looked like a blind man with a stick. Not that being blind is funny.. it was just one of those "had to be there" times. The neighbours couldn't see the webs/spiders from over there so they would just see him out there with the broom stick, waving it around like a lunatic..

I don't know how much more of this I can take. I might just put my tent up in my living room and get in and stay there until they just go away or something...

The ones that gather outside are nothing new and I hate them, but ever since these ones have been in the house I started to have more respect for the ones outside. Not enough I guess, because I still kill them. As much as I hated the Jehovahs coming to my door first thing in the morning, I now miss it because they would knock the webs out of the way by coming up on the porch to my door. I didn't like being woken up by them so I often yelled at them and put a sign on my door and they finally went away. But now the spiders stay there until I myself remove them , or unless Dale knocks them away. I'm very upset about this. All of this.. terrible nonsense indeed.